The Rules of Inertia
by Enula
Summary: Penny's life hasn't been going anywhere for the past seven years. Her unhappiness is escalating, and with that, her drinking. Aren't any of her friends noticing? Sheldon does; he's the one person who has truly been there for her all along. Shenny.
1. The Tequila Inaccuracy

**The Rules of Inertia**

**I.**

Wednesday night shifts as The Cheesecake Factory's bartender is equal to bare minimum tips divided by getting wasted on the job. This equation should be noteworthy, but Penny finds it difficult to even care. The problem will never amount to a correct solution, so it's best to avoid the conundrum at all costs.

Pouring herself another shot of tequila, she didn't even bother to glance around the restaurant to ensure no one was watching her get wasted. When she first began sneaking shots, it was to drown her boredom. Maybe help her create a story in her head. Wasn't she supposed to be writing a story about a girl from…some city in Nebraska who came to California to make it big?

Ah, who was she trying to kid? She sent her fictional character into a drunken stupor years ago.

She wanted to shout to all the families eating, "Who wants to buy a round of drinks?" Seriously, if even one person bought four drinks for their table, that might land her a dollar or two in tips. So what if most of the tables housed at least one child? She wasn't asking the adults to get so drunk that they couldn't drive home.

Speaking of driving home…_shit. _She was already on her sixth shot and unless she stopped now, the only thing that could truly sober her up was sleep. Taking a peak at the clock, she had to squint her eyes to even focus on the hands. It was only 9:25. Her shift didn't end until midnight.

Another shot of tequila has been poured.

And this seventh shot hit hard. She felt the uncomfortable burn begin to settle in the back of her throat and her body craved water and sleep…two things of which she was adamant on denying to herself. Damn, was she a masochist or what?

Her mind must have temporarily shut down, because there was a blink and then there was a man sitting on one of her barstools. _Crap, a customer. _She feels like she stands up straight, trying to maintain a proper posture as she puts her words under a mental microscope, "What'll it be?"

"Rum and coke," the guy says frankly and she wants to ask if he wants to upgrade to a Cuba Libre. He says no because he hates limes, and this for some reason makes her stick the lime wedge in her mouth and suck out the tart juices.

Penny puts down a napkin then his drink, and she can't help but notice that he's staring at her. When he asks, "Had anyone ever told you that you're as pretty as a penny?" she has to stop and consider her responses. She could either point out that he somehow acquired her name and decided to come up with the worst possible pun imaginable, but that would result in loss of tip. She could act flattered and urge him forth, but that might evolve into something that Leonard might not be too happy about hearing in the morning.

So she only smiled, the lime wedge acting as a medium between her lips.

"Pretty as a penny, yet socially without grace," the man raised his glass to her as he stood, "Your name suits you well." Penny watched as he walked back to his table…leaving her, as she feared, tipless.

She slowly took out the bone dry lime and threw it in the trash before pouring herself another shot. Was that man even cute? Funny how she didn't take the time to notice or care. She looked at the clock. 9:32. How time flies.

Wasn't this supposed to be the turning point in her life where a famous Hollywood director walks up to the bar and notices how stunningly gorgeous she is despite her hourly wage work uniform and he asks if she's ever considered acting or modeling? Then she might modestly respond that she never gave it much thought, but then ask why he asked. Then he tells her that she can be the next Marilyn Monroe and promptly gives her his card and tells her she's perfect for an upcoming role.

But looking toward the entrance, she saw that no one was coming in but everyone was leaving. She wanted to leave…she just wanted to go to bed. Why did she agree to work the bar on a Wednesday night? Shouldn't this go to one of the newbies? She's been working at this same damn place for over seven years now. Was it really seven years? It might as well have been seven weeks. Nothing's changed. Nothing.

Speaking of nothing, she took her phone out of her pocket and checked for any messages. Nothing. She knew it was Halo night, but were they still playing? The normal question seemed oddly absurd, because the answer was painfully obvious. Still, she hid her phone under the counter as she typed a message to her boyfriend, wondering if she should at least be glad that she had someone to call her boyfriend.

_Penny: Bored at work. Come keep me company._

Ten minutes passed and still no reply. Seriously? _She_ was the one at work and _he_ was too busy to text her?

Time for just one more shot. That should do her good for the rest of the night. And if Leonard wouldn't answer her, maybe Sheldon would.

_Penny: How'd Halo go?_

Her phone vibrated rather quickly with a response, and her eyes blinked multiple times to focus on the small font on the screen.

_Sheldon: Not good, Penny. I needed you and you weren't here. It's Halo night, not Whatever-Else-You're-Doing night._

_Penny: Didn't Leonard tell you I had to work?_

_Sheldon: He said, and I quote, "Penny is out making money." I assumed this could mean a many number of things._

_Penny: So glad he made me sound like a prostitute. _

_Sheldon: Really? That hardly seems like something to be glad about._

Penny couldn't stop the smirk that tugged at the side of her lips. His inability to pick up on sarcasm was often annoying, but it could also be a cure for boredom. Besides, she wasn't about to complain. At least he was texting her, unlike others she knew…

_Penny: Sarcasm, sweetie. BTW, what's Leonard doing?_

As soon as she sent it, she thought about her _BTW _and if she should have just spelled it out for him, or if he remembered how she explained it to him awhile back.

_Sheldon: I wouldn't know. He abruptly left the apartment 43.5 minutes ago._

Penny smiled, thinking that Leonard was on his way to The Cheesecake Factory and didn't answer her text because he wanted to surprise her. But then…her smile slowly faded. If he left that long ago…shouldn't he be here by now? Also…she didn't text him forty-five minutes ago. Tequila was beginning to pound in her head due to her curiosity.

_Penny: Oh…well, I'm bored. Come keep me company._

_Sheldon: 10 'clock. Bedtime. Goodnight._

Penny groaned and dropped her phone onto the counter. Him and his stupid schedule. Even if he wasn't going to bed, he was probably with Amy, and she wasn't sure if she could handle two Sheldon's at the moment. Who else could she try to convince to pay her a visit?

Bernadette? No, she was probably getting busy with her husband now. Penny shuddered. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. Though Howard and Bernadette had been married for quite some time now, she still sometimes had a hard time wrapping her brain around the idea. What in the world did Howard do right to deserve his Happily Ever After?

She wanted to hate him and Bernadette for somehow finding each other so easily, but…she couldn't do that. Ever since the time Howard came over to pour his heart out to Bernadette…saying all those things about how she made him become a better man and all that (_lovely_) crap, Penny only felt envy, not disgust.

Seriously though, how did little Bernadette change horn-dog Howard into a somewhat respectable human being? No guy has _ever _said that kind of stuff to Penny! Leonard certainly never did. He talked about her looks a lot. But so did all of her other boyfriends.

When she first found out about Alex hitting on Leonard, she was hoping he would repeat some of the words Howard said to Bernadette…but no. He was _way _too happy with her insecurities to say anything of reassurance at all. All that ran through her mind (and continues to do so) was the time he came over asking for her advice on whether or not he should sleep with some girl he met at the comic book store when he was still dating Priya.

She poured herself another shot against her better judgment. But what the hell ever. It seemed like she did everything against her better judgment anymore, so she might as well keep adding to the list.

She had to get her mind off Leonard and Howardette or she was going to start drinking straight from the bottle.

What about Raj? He's been talking about that girl he's been seeing for a little while now…what did he say her name was? Lisa? Lucy? Yeah, Lucy sounds right. Penny never met her yet, so maybe Raj would like to bring her to The Cheesecake Factory for a Wednesday night drink? But then she remembered (and she doesn't know how she remembered, because not only was she drinking when he told her this, but she was pretty far gone now as well) that Lucy doesn't feel comfortable in crowded places.

Penny looked around. The place was hardly crowded.

_Penny: wy dint u brng luucy heer and intordiuce her?_

She may have lost her ability to type, but she could still tell that that text looked horrible. She closed her phone without saving or sending the message. No…she knew she could sometimes be over the top when she was drinking, and she didn't want to be the reason that Raj's girlfriend was scared off.

Then again…what if Raj has his Happily Ever After before her, also?

Maybe she should just say yes to marrying Leonard. Was there ever going to be a better shot at happiness, anyway?

She looked down at her ring finger on her left hand. What would it look like with a sparkling diamond on it? Would it make her hand look more feminine? Would it look heavy and feel even heavier? Would getting married hold her back? What if she received a potential acting job and had to temporarily (or permanently) move somewhere else? Would Leonard really just quit his job at the university like _that?_

Then again, just because she would be married doesn't mean she still couldn't do what she needed to do. But wasn't marriage supposed to be about sacrifice? So which one of them would end up sacrificing the most?

No…marriage isn't a fairytale. Marriage is a ball and chain. She saw that very thing when Howard announced he was going to be an astronaut.

_Oh, God, what's wrong with you, Penny? It's not like you're ever going to get an acting job…_

"Can't think like that," she mumbled to herself, tipping the tequila bottle clumsily to the shot glass.

"Penny!"

She jumped when she heard her name shouted into her ear and accidentally spilled a large amount of alcohol across the counter. Looking to her right, she saw the night manager, Mr. Erisman, looking shocked and upset at her obvious drunkenness.

"Are you seriously drinking on the job?" His voice, deep and demanding, sent a chill down her spine at what this could possibly mean.

"I…I…" Penny reached for a rag and wiped up what she could, though between all the tequila and her racing heart, her hands were shaking far too much to clean up her mess.

"This is highly unprofessional. You know I've fired other employee's for doing this very thing, don't you?" He asked, his arms crossed and his head lowered. Penny was so embarrassed that it seemed like it was sinking out of her and into him and he could hardly stand to watch her fumble.

Penny felt tears cloud her vision and she tried her hardest to get her mind out of the haze she put it under, "Yes, I know, it's just…Oh, God, I'm am so, _so _sorry! Please don't fire me…you know I've been working here for over seven years, I never had anything like this happen, I—."

"You're rambling and slurring your words," he informed her which made her instantly shut her mouth. She thought she sounded completely comprehensible, which was a bad sign, because now her body didn't even realize how drunk she actually was.

She swiped the rag off the table, only for it to bump the shot glass she'd been using, sending it shattering to the floor at her feet. She screamed involuntarily, jumping away from the tiny shards of glass.

Mr. Erisman covered his face when the few costumers that were left looked to see what was going on. He stepped forward and grabbed Penny's elbow, pulling her away from the bar and the scene she was making, "Listen, you're too drunk right now for me to tell you anything you won't remember in the morning. Just call one of your friends to come get you and we'll discuss this in length tomorrow."

He let her go, planning on manning the bar himself now, but stopped short when Penny grabbed his hand, "Please, Austin, let me—."

"Mr. Erisman," he corrected her bluntly.

Penny licked her lips and bit her bottom lip in a way that drove men crazy, "Is that what you'd like me to call you when you have me bent over the—."

He snatched his hand away from hers, quickly looking around to make sure none of his other employees heard what she was saying. Even though _she _was saying it, cases involving any sort of sexual harassment can easily get turned onto the guy and he was _not _looking for trouble.

When he saw that no one heard, however, he leaned in close to her and whispered harshly, "We'll talk about this tomorrow, Penny. Go home."

Her manager finally left to begin cleaning up her mess. She sighed and swayed backward, glad there was a wall behind her. Shit, she didn't plan on getting caught…or getting this drunk. She had to call someone to come get her. But even though she was drunk, she wasn't drunk enough to not be embarrassed about having to tell one of them what happened. She could call a cab, but money was tight as it was, and that cab ride home would no doubt cost what she was going to use for gas money for the next few weeks.

Penny thought her best bet would be to sleep in her car for a few hours, just enough to sober her up a little, then drive home at about midnight. Traffic wouldn't be bad so it should only take her a few minutes to reach the apartment.

She didn't quite remember how, but she managed to stumble her way out into the parking lot. She found her car and leaned against it with her eyes closed, trying to clear her mind with the help of fresh air. It just made her want to drink more.

Fumbling to find her keys, she opened her driver's side door and slid behind the wheel, wondering why it felt so foreign to be sitting there. Wasn't she just behind the bar thinking about how much she hated relationships or something like that?

She started the car and, for some odd reason, her eyes instantly saw the "check engine" light.

"I need to get a sticker for that," she said and it sounded like she was responding to someone's snide remark, "So what if my engine breaks? I'll just add it to the list of broken things!"

She shouted angrily, her voice breaking. She put the car in drive and eased her foot onto the gas. She was pretty sure she convinced herself to sleep in her car, but that just sounded so uncomfortable that it didn't even seem worth it. No…the reason she was drinking was because she just wanted to go home. She wasn't going to make that the reason she couldn't now.

God, what was the big deal anyway? It wasn't like anyone was near the bar anyway! And yeah, so she was drinking for "free." Her salary would suggest otherwise…her paychecks were near nonexistent, so she figured she deserved a few free shots. Didn't she at least deserve that? And if not, what the hell _did _she deserve?!

She felt a lone tear slip from her eye, but she angrily brushed it away before she gripped the steering wheel with all her strength. Did she even deserve to cry? She's done a lot of crying throughout the years, and where has it gotten her? Right here, drunk, driving home, and wondering if she should now consider herself jobless.

* * *

Penny didn't know how she got home safe and without getting pulled over, but she couldn't find the will power to truly contemplate it as she dragged herself up three flights of stairs.

_I can make it…I can make it…_

She made it to a landing, stopping when she saw more stairs in front of her. Her mind was shutting down and her body was ready to give into whatever happened. She took a step…paused…took another step…then laid down on the stairs, because the crook of her arm just felt so comfortable underneath her head. Lying at an angle felt much better for her spinning world to handle than lying horizontally anyway.

"I'll just sleep here…" She slurred into her arm and was so thankful when she felt herself losing consciousness.

()()()()()()()

()()()()()()()

Okay, so this is my first TBBT story! I just recently bought Seasons 1-5 and have been catching season 6 on TV, and I have to say...Penny is changing a lot. It seems like in every episode, Penny's drinking/drunk and not very happy with anything that's going on. Everyone is bashing on more (and not in so playful ways like it used to be). I like Amy, but it seems to me that since she came into the picture, Penny lost some of her...oomph! And since her and Leonard got back together this season, she lost even more of it. What I'm trying to say is this: I want to explore and know what's truly going on in Penny's head. Does anyone else notice all her changes?

This story will probably get darker as it progresses.


	2. The Intense Dehydration Sensation

**The Rules of Inertia**

**II.**

Penny's bloodshot eyes snapped open instantly when three pounds echoed through her aching head.

"Penny."

Three more pounds. She closed her eyes to fight the sick feeling that crept from her stomach to her throat.

"Penny."

Three more pounds. She pulled her face from her arm, the two areas of skin sticking together like cheap glue.

"Penny."

She fought to open her eyes again, squinting at the harsh light. Her vision met a pair of shoes, red, white, and black plaid pants, a red tee-shirt with a lightning bolt symbol, and then finally the straight face of Sheldon Cooper.

"Penny, Leonard never came home last night and I need a ride to work."

As memories from the night before began to sink into her mind, she groaned…groaned at being hung over, at being sore from sleeping on the stairs, at Sheldon banging on the hallway wall like it was her damn apartment door, at Leonard for not being there to fulfill his roommate duty…

The last thought made her wonder. Leonard was gone all night? That's strange. She wondered if he ever texted her back, so she reached into her purse that had been squished under her body the whole night to find her phone.

"Did you need a few minutes to get ready?" Sheldon asked after Penny elicited no response to his "request."

"Sheldon, I don't think I can drive you, I…" after a moment of digging at every corner of her purse, she finally looked inside as she pushed all her belongings around. She groaned again…this time it was because she realized that she left her phone on the bar at The Cheesecake Factory.

"You 'don't think?' I need a better answer than that, because what you're saying doesn't make any sense, unless of course your car is no longer traversable, in which case, you don't _think, _you _know _you can't."

Penny was hardly paying Sheldon any mind, because now she was just worried about going back to work. She needed her phone, however, because Leonard could be in trouble, or she might have already gotten fired, or…or any number of things!

"I need to pee," she said aloud as she pushed herself up onto her shaky legs. Her bladder throbbed with pressure, but she was just so thankful that she didn't wet herself all over the stairs.

"Is _that _why you don't think you can drive me? Because I have to say that—."

"Sheldon!" She yelled, not at all in the mood to hear any more of his philosophies. The extra pressure she put on her body to yell made her bladder contract, and she literally slammed the key into the slot before slamming the door open and sprinting toward the bathroom. It was definitely not a good idea to sleep with seven shots of tequila in your system. Or was it eight shots?

"Penny, if you put yourself on a regular schedule, you wouldn't have to worry about urinating in your pants," Sheldon said from the doorway, wincing when he realized that Penny didn't even shut the bathroom door as she did her business.

"Whatever, Sheldon…" she mumbled into her hands. She was beginning to feel an intense dehydration sensation setting in, which made her stomach quench and her head become a hundred pounds heavier.

She felt pretty proud of herself when she managed to stand back up again, but within a few seconds, her body flushed profusely. She slumped to the cool bathroom floor, hoping she didn't black out.

"Sheldon, can you bring me some water?" Her voice even sounded shaky to her. She was facing what was probably one of her worst handovers of her life, and she knew it wasn't just because of all the tequila shots she took at work. She had been drinking on and off all day yesterday, ranging from a beer here, a glass of wine there, a shot of Captain for the road...and the only thing she recalled eating was oatmeal for breakfast.

"Here," she heard Sheldon's voice as he stepped into the bathroom. Penny didn't even bother to look as she reached her hand up to grab the water bottle blindly. As soon as her hot, dry skin felt the cold bottle, it was like her throat and stomach instantly knew what was coming, which made her twist the top off and drink the liquid like it was a competition.

Sheldon watched her for a brief moment, already assuming what was going to happen, "You know, Penny, water is useful in removing toxins from the body, but if you consume it too quickly, it will most likely make you—."

Before he could finish, Penny nearly choked on the water as she felt vomit rise into her throat. She instantly turned her body to the toilet where she emptied all the contents of her stomach, which, of course, was nothing but clear liquid.

Giving a highly disgusted look, Sheldon turned away before stepping outside the bathroom, "As I was saying…it will most likely make you vomit. It won't harm your liver…no, all the alcohol you consumed has already accomplished that…but it _will _flush out electrolytes from your body."

The only response he was met with was her labored breathing. He stood there, shifting just slightly from foot to foot, glancing around at her cluttered bedroom, "Penny…?"

"I'm fine…" she managed to gasp out, surprised at how much better she actually did feel.

"Okay, good, because if we dawdle any longer I'm going to be late for work."

Penny narrowed her eyes, though it was pointless since Sheldon couldn't see her, "Woop-dee-doo, Wack-a-doodle! I'm glad that that's your biggest problem in life right now, but I'm facing a lot more serious ones. Just take the bus."

"Penny, you know I can't do that. I wore my bus pants to the train store a few days ago, remember? I won't be able to wash them until Saturday, so you're my only option. Oh, and don't even bother mentioning any of my colleagues, because according to my watch, Koothrappali will be arriving at the university in approximately three-and-a-quarter minutes, Wolowitz will be—."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Penny stopped him, not needing to hear the rest of the conversation. She pulled herself up off the floor and flushed the toilet. She appeared in the doorway, very aware of how scared Sheldon looked at the idea of her coming near him at the moment, "I at least need to take a shower first."

"But I—!"

She shook her head and put on a stern face, "It's that or nothing at all." As soon as she saw his shoulders slump, she knew she had him, "Well…?"

Sheldon sighed heavily, "Fine, but I'll have you know that—."

"Great," she responded before closing the bathroom door in his face. She needed to get out of her work clothes and fast. She felt sticky, sweaty, and stinky, three of the worst S's in the world. Well…except for small. Speaking of small, she wondered where Leonard was. Did he say anything about working the nightshift and she completely forgot?

She turned on the shower, keeping the water cold. After she stripped down, she grabbed her toothbrush, planning on brushing her teeth as hard as she could while she was showering.

A loud gasp emitted from her throat when the ice water struck her skin. It successfully shocked her body back to the land of the living, however, so she then turned the water to extra hot. She closed her eyes in bliss as it washed through her hair and down her back. She began brushing her teeth like a mother would wash out a child's mouth with soap. If she was going to head back to The Cheesecake Factory, she had to make sure she was completely presentable as she apologized. She hated the begging she pictured in her head, but she just couldn't afford to lose her job.

After switching back and forth between cold and hot water for about fifteen minutes, Penny finally felt like a human being again. She got out, dried and fixed her hair, got dressed (wearing a jean skirt and low-cut top that she was sure could only aid her in keeping her job), and did her makeup.

When she finally stepped into her living room, she was hit with the delightful smell of food. She saw Sheldon standing over by her stove, sliding an egg onto a plate.

"Aww, you made me breakfast?" she asked sweetly, though was inwardly prepared for some sort of snide remark about how it wasn't for her.

"Yes, well, as they say, "buzzed driving is drunk driving." One can only assume that goes for hung over driving as well," Sheldon explained matter-of-factly, if not a bit irritated-like, "Your check engine light already concerns me, so for the sake of my safety, I took the liberty to research quick ways to cure a hangover."

Despite his reasoning, Penny smiled brightly and walked over to the kitchen island to see what he created. On her plate was a tortilla with sliced avocado and a sunny-side-up egg on top, all smothered in hot sauce. Sheldon set a glass next to the plate which held a light green liquid.

Penny picked up the glass and sniffed it cautiously, turning her head away instantly, "What _is _this?"

"Pickle juice. It's full of naturally occurring antioxidants, healing salts, and minerals. You're going to want to eat the avocado as, what is called, _a_ _chaser_," Sheldon said the last word as though it was a highly scientific term that Penny was unaware of.

She looked down at her breakfast with uncertainty, "This is really going to help me?"

Sheldon looked like he was about to respond, but then shut his mouth as he gave her a look that usually made her feel like she was insane, "Penny, this is going to help your _hangover, _not _you _personally. No, that's going to take a lot more than produce, protein, and pickles."

Penny shot him a glare, but Sheldon was already pushing her breakfast closer to her. Although she was very reluctant to have any of it, she knew that if Sheldon knew it would help her, then she could only hope for the best. Holding her breath, she drank the two ounces of pickle juice, wincing at the bitter taste as she then hurriedly grabbed an avocado slice and bit into the spongy fruit.

"May I ask you something, Penny?" Sheldon asked rather politely, which made her slightly worried.

She braced herself for his question as she wrapped the egg and spicy sauce up in the tortilla, just then realizing how hungry she actually was, "Shoot."

Sheldon looked around, "Shoot what?"

Penny rolled her eyes, "Yes, Sheldon, you may ask me something."

His eyes settled on hers and it was such an intense stare, that she had to look away as she bit into her make-shift burrito, "I thought you were working last night, not out getting drunk. Why do you have a hangover?"

Penny sighed as she chewed her food, swallowing slowly as she thought of a response, "I went out for a few drinks after work, that's all."

"Oh…" was Sheldon's only response for a moment, watching as she took another large bite, "I don't believe you." When she fired a look of disbelief at him, he quickly spoke to support his reasoning, "If you were working the nightshift, that means that you worked until about twelve-thirty AM. In all the years that I've known you, I've never seen you go out after such a late shift, not to mention that you were still in your work clothes when I found you on the stairs. Not only that, but I know you weren't in anybody's company last night, assuming, of course, you would only be with someone from our posse."

Penny continued eating as he spoke, feeling her face flush with embarrassment that he might deduce what actually occurred, "Yeah well…I decided to spice it up a bit last night…"

He stared at her blankly, and Penny was sure he was going to argue with her, but then he only shook his head in disappointment, "Well, look what your 'spice it up a bit' actions have caused? You slept on the stairs, which is so highly unsanitary I don't even think you comprehend all the appalling consequences; you became dehydrated, which is something you put your body through on a regular basis anyway, and you caused me to be late for work."

"Excuse me!" Penny snapped, having just finished off her food, "How is it _my _fault that Leonard stayed out all night and is not here to give you a ride?!"

"Every action has a reaction. You two had another argument yesterday which caused him to feel rebellious," Sheldon explained calmly, not at all moved by her rising tone.

Penny snorted despite herself, "Rebellious? The only thing Leonard ever rebelled against was…" Penny trailed off when she couldn't think of anything clever to say.

"He's rebelling against my roommate agreement and it's because of whatever you said to him. You need to tell him something that will boost his ego again. Anything will do, really…just tell him that the work he is doing is very important. I know it's a lie, but you're really good at pulling those off."

Before Penny could respond, Sheldon grabbed his bag and put it over his head as he walked toward the door. Realizing that he was past ready to go, she grabbed her purse and keys (which were by her purse, so she assumed Sheldon put them there when he came into her apartment), and followed him out.

"I didn't think our argument yesterday was that big of a deal…" Penny started as they headed down the first flight of stairs. Penny had been feeling a bit off yesterday ever since Bernadette and Amy came to visit. It started when Bernadette made the confession that, when her and Howard were having sex, she would often say things that sounded like they were getting ready for take-off in a space shuttle. She said it made Howard feel like they were actually doing it in the shuttle (and that it was actually very believable despite the cramped space because they were both so small). Amy then chimed in about saying scientific or science fiction-y things that would make Sheldon's eyes "burn with desire" (as she so gracefully put it).

It made Penny realize that she was completely different from all of them, and that she had nothing _smart _to say when she was having sex with Leonard. Not that Leonard ever complained about the noises she made in bed, but it made her wonder if he _wanted _that kind of dirty science talk during sex.

Anyway, after the two girls left, Penny called Leonard over to give it a try. She remembered when she first found out about Alex and bought those stupid glasses to make herself "look smart." Just saying the word _molecules _got him all hot and bothered. She knew, however, that it had nothing to do with her intellectual side…it was still only about her looks.

Either way, she was so focused on trying to think of something smart to say that she wasn't getting aroused at all. And the more she tried to force herself to become aroused, the blanker her mind was becoming when it came to science junk.

"It's like the Sahara Desert down here," Leonard told her after he tried everything he could to get her wet.

Penny sighed and covered her face in embarrassment, "I know, I guess…guess I'm just not in the mood."

"But _you're _the one that called _me _over for sex," Leonard reminded her, sitting up in bed and feeling completely unsatisfied.

Penny bit her lip, hating herself for what she was about to say, because she really didn't want to, "Want me to just go down on you?"

Leonard answered within a millisecond, "Yes, I want that," he said as he scooted back against the headboard and waited for her to commence.

Despite not wanting to, Penny tried anyway, but because she wasn't feeling it or comfortable (which she was still trying to figure out why), she couldn't get her throat to loosen up so eventually she just told him sorry and asked if he minded finishing himself.

This somehow ended up as an argument (which lead to the beer she downed) about how she wasn't sexually attracted to him anymore (because he's been having to initiate sex for "forever" now). She forced herself to explain that that wasn't it, and that she was just under a lot of stress. He began naming a lot of external factors…such as money problems, trouble at work, not getting an acting job, et cetera, et cetera. She only said, "That's a part of it…" but it never really hit the nail on the head because what she was feeling was something much bigger than all those things.

When she wouldn't tell him (or actually, _couldn't _tell him because she was still trying to figure it out herself), he got annoyed with her and left.

"Penny, are you even listening to me?" Sheldon asked, bringing her back to the present. She looked over at him, seeing that he slowed down when she did.

"Sorry, I blanked out there…what were you saying?"

Sheldon sighed as they reached the bottom of the stairs and headed out the front door, "I was saying that when Leonard gets upset, he comes home and acts like an amateur—Dear Lord, what in the world did you do to your car?"

Penny looked to see that her car was parked very crooked, taking up two parking spaces, and that she drove over the cement block at the front of the one space. She drove into a bush, which covered most of her hood, and her driver's side door was slightly ajar, which not only meant that she was too drunk to even notice if she closed her door, but it also meant that her interior light was probably dead.

She groaned as she rushed to her car, swinging her door open to check if anything had been stolen. When she didn't notice anything missing, she unlocked the passenger door for Sheldon, and that was when she noticed that she also left her headlights on all night.

"Damn it all!" Penny yelled, now feeling anxious to return home and pour herself a drink. She started the car, thankful that it actually did start.

"Penny?"

"What?"

"Your check engine light is on."

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I wanted to thank all my wonderful reviewers for leaving me such positive and encouraging feedback! I'm glad I'm not the only one concerned about Penny. Oh, but I also wanted to thank you for telling me to ignore the one Guest reviewer that is clearly not a Shenny-shipper. Honestly, I was expecting a lot worse. Before I posted this story, I went around and studied various Shenny places, such as stories on here, Tumblr, LiveJournal, etc., and became very anxious about posting this because of all the Shenny bashers out there. But then I thought...whatever, I'm not going to let other people's childish ways stop me from writing what I want. I'm glad most other people feel the same way, because the Shenny section here is HUGE compared to every other ship.


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